torn away

I'm watching a stupid movie on this Boeing 757 and reading the words on the T-shirts walking the aisle and it hits me, tears and all. I'm going back to the U.S. It's hitting me square in the face but I just can't believe it. How did this happen? Where did these months go? They've gone to my memories, deep down and all over the surface. Please don't let them sink anymore. And why do I cry? Because for all my excitement, I wish it weren't ending. Because I'm flying over ripples of blue, away from those twelve wonderful beings who have so filled my life in this time with things I can hardly comprehend, who have fed my growth with every insight and embrace. Away from them with all they've given me, toward a world of unknown challenges and possibilities. This growth that magnifies and shapes me brings me to big drops on the page, salty and sentimental. The surface of the sea below us reminds me of a wrinkled passion-fruit, all flattened out. My passion remains alive and full, but it might take my soul a good while to catch up this time.